May 23, 2005

  • Not Bad.

    A son and father are talking to each other. "Son, I've got to talk to you about responsibility" and the son was like "OK". So the son and father bought some pop tarts. It was stupid. Then the father and son team saw a retarded person. "Son, now look at that man over there. He's what we call handicapped. He can't walk!" "Wow" said the son "he's an asshole!". The son then gave the retard a pop tart. More like, POP TARD! HO HO I'M IMPRESSIVE WITH THE JOKES! Anywho, the father was all like "retards are a lower form of man, just push him down the steps" and so they did. Then they both high fived and like went to the mall or something. I don't know. What do I look like, a biographer?

    Speaking of malls, I was at the mall today and I saw an eight year old girl and thought: not bad. Then I went into the Baby GAP to sniff the clothes. That started to bore me, so I played grab-ass with the little boys in the play area. Their parents saw me do this and called security. I ran outside and smashed into a car. I was so erect from before that I totally annihilated it with my ENGORGED PENIS. Here's a photo of the car afterwards:

    True story. Just ask Chadwick.

    Yes, I did write this in five minutes.

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