May 16, 2005

  • Story (w/Tim Markworth)

    One time I was going to the store and I saw this kid I knew from McDonalds or something named Markworth buying some salsa. He was being a jerk and like running over old ladies with a grocery cart. Then, all of a sudden, a goat comes through the window and explodes HARD, killing everyone. And by killing, I mean not killing because it was plastic or something. Then some stuff happened involving really cool explosions that were by far the coolest things I've ever seen. I would explain them but like it was so cool that I can't, so don't ask.

    I'm walking down the same isle looking for some Worcestershire sauce and all the sudden he's all like:

    "Hey Kenny, what're you doing here? Nevermind/anyways, which type of salsa would you get? MEGA SUPER ULTRA HOT, or MEGA ULTRA SUPER HOT. I don't want it to taste like pain, but it can't be bland, ya know. Did you see a goat?"

    So I was like "no" and the camera zoomed in on my eyeballs really awesome. Then I did a backflip off of the wall and some jerk with a CounterStrike shirt on totally farted. It smelled and melted the paint so I left.

    THE END.

    (This story co-written with Tim Markworth a.k.a. "The Joke Baron", who provided his own quote and like some other sentence. Ha, "Joke Baron"? More like "The CHOKE Baron", because he totally "chokes" when he tries to tell a joke! Get it?)

    Also:

     

Comments (52)

  • That end was hilarious

    You never cease to amuse me.

  • Yeah, I'm a badass.

  • i don't believe the salsa part.  that's crazy!

  • oh you guys, you!

  • as long as there are explosive farts involved, ill read it.

  • your right.... i wont ask.

  • I didn't know that Shane_Tyas was involved in this joke!

  • Yeah that counterstrike guy had burritos and lamb for lunch.

  • What kind of nerd parades around in a counterstrike t-shirt?

    More like abercrombie, PLZ K THX.

  • more like i have the rights to ddr teh sux i invented it me me me me me me me me me me go back to pohnpei you foreingner

  • Oh Kenny, you so crazy.

  • I think I wanna have your baby

  • That's interesting, as I've never known the goat to be the most explosive of the ungulata, certainly not so much as, say, the aardvark, or the hyrax.

  • please, tell me the definition of 'emo.' being 'artistic' does not consider one person 'emo' and you have no right to label people you know nothing about. what do you mean my picture is emo? i took it in my bathroom... i have a jump rope for heart shirt on and i'm wearing make-up [becuz u n0 dat NO GRRL wearz MAK3_UP!!1!@!!1!ONEONE!1!!!], and myis hair pulled back, so that makes me emo. oh, wait, the picture was taken so that my image can be seen in... a MIRROR!!! that's so original and 'emo', eh? emo kids cry. i don't cry a lot. kay bye.

  • myis hair pulled back = my hair was pulled back.

  • HAHAHAAHAHAHA

  • I want that shirt. What says :middle finger: :finger pointing at you: better than that shirt. NOTHING!

  • get outta the john.

  • TAKIN' PICTURES IN YO BAFFROM

  • I KNOW! SHE 1337pWn3D ME!

    OMG Her EMOness rubbed off on me. I just want to wear thick glasses, take pictures in my bathroom, and be all whiny and depressing!

    MR. SULU! PWNAGE AHEAD! RAWR!

  • HAHAHHAHAAA WTF? i never called myself emo for one. two; why are you flirting with me? why do you keep making fun of me and calling me emo? i don't cut. i don't cry. i'm not depressed. i don't take pills. i've never tried to kill myself. how could you call me emo? i hate when people call me or the music i listen to. why do you put so much effort into ridiculing me? you're like, what, eighteen? and fat. you just, shouldn't take pictures of yourself, ever. you're an emo faggot.

  • yep, you know it, because i'm so emo. yeah, i listen to Bright Eyes every morning and The Postal Service before i sleep and Death Cab For Cutie any time in between... i wear ALL black because all of my clothes are from hot topic as you can see and i wear two punds of eyeliner on each eye. i also slit my wrists in the bathroom, as you can see because it's so obviously, and i'm always crying which is why my make-up streams down my face, as you can also see in my black and white emo mirror picture. EMOxCORE, eh!? eff yeaz b3cuz n0 1'z evR tak3n pix 1n baffr00mz!!11@!!!2@1! D1D I als0 m3nt10n dat 1'm lyke so0o0o0o sXe dat i lyke dnt eben k1zz boiz!!1@! eben tho i hav uh bf!!@!!11!!@!

  • I am emo. Check it out:

    POETRY, LYRICS, STARS, GIRL PANTS, MATCHBOOK ROMANCE, POETRY

  • Too true, KStiles. Oh well, like I said--ITS FUN!

  • Whoa, why is your shirt pointing to me, and then giving me the finger?  Shouldn't it be the other way around, like Flipping the Bird is "fuck" and The Pointer means "you"?  You should wear that shirt in front of two mirrors so that it's the right, American way instead of the back-asswards European way or whatever.

    Oh, wait, wait, ok, wait, just a sec, ok, hold on, wait, ok, wait, hold on a sec, wait, ok, stop--I have a JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!

    If you're not an American in the bathroom, what are you?

    European!

    Get it?  Yer A-Peein'?

    Haw Haw Haw Haw Haw

  • Look, let's just face the facts here: takeOverUranus boyfriend looks a lot like this assbag and a little bit like Mike's girlfriend.

  • What the fuck is up with your hair...gahhhh just...gahhhhh ...go back to AMOSITE RD.

  • Haha. Awesome post man.

    --KFR

  • What would have been REALLY awesome is if the dude has farted on the Worcestershire sauce and blown the whole place up.  *he he*

  • you got that shirt at Spencer's.

  • THIS IS????

  • yea..
    i agree.

    thanks for your time to comment my site.
    i appriciate it dearly.

    ___TRAVIS_________

  • Nice Pics, keep the good work up mate, xanga surfing here. from UK.

  • hey! i'm going to try to take a mirror emo pic! i don't feel emo, but whatever!

  • I swear this chick is like a cockroach. Or a cocksucker. I'm not quite sure which just yet, but it's something cock related.

    Oh and I would be honoured if you were to post my video on your site. It's so funny. If you weren't aware, that is me in it and the song is "The Power" by Manowar. I'd say it's a lovely tribute to one of my favourite metal bands.

    ^_^

    I do rule.

  • Check out my FRIGGIN EMO pictures ^_)^

  • I know. Isn't it sad? We like, gave up on her ages ago (although my hot girlfriend pwned her)
    Dontcha love my emoness though?!

  • Don't call me Canadian.

    I once got suspended because I wouldn't stop singing The Star Spangled Banner during 'Oh, Canada' in the morning at school.

  • more like...we are going to the mall tomrrow and im going to make all the blackins rape your non virgin asshole..since you know you and chad eh eh *nudge nudge*

  • well , i like the venga boys, aqua and i liked star wars the phantom menace...OH FUCK

  • and d_prime....no you didn't.

  • random props

    lolz ur funny

  • takeOveruranus= EMO BITCH no stop crying about it...i mean jesus, 4 posts? shut the hell up noone cares

  • Seems we've all rubbed takesITUPTHEANUS the wrong way.

    Damn ugly chicks with bowl hair cuts shouldn't have Xangas.

  • random propz. hit bak

  • Speaking of Emo bitches, wtf happened to Markworth?

  • YAH HIT BAK mutha funka

  • emo must be destroyed

  • That's pretty cool that you would come to my website, and talk shit about the rap I wrote when I was completely annihilated drunk, so what do I do? come to you site, to find out it's the biggest festering pile of homosexual shit I've ever seen. And whats Ironic, is that I'm sure this comment will be deleted as soon as you see it, but your shitty, space wasting comment will remain on my site.

  • e-beef what whatttttttt.

  • haha

  • I have that shirt, and it is awesome, as you seem to be.

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