February 19, 2005
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Soup Kitchen.
I walked into a soup kitchen the other day because I was hungry. I just got done eating at the Ritz but I figured I could use a little snack.
"Can I have a turkey and cheese sub with hot peppers?"
"What? All we got is soup and sandwich. Back of the line buddy."So I waited and waited and waited AND WAITED but still no soup. I decided that waiting sucked so I took matters into my own hands. I walked up to this old lady and just before she could get her first gulp of soup in I kicked her off her chair. She was crying and it was annoying so I put heavy books on her face until she stopped moving. I went back to eat her food.
I was so full from before that I could only eat half. Some bum asked me if I would give him the rest:
"Hey. Help me out. I can't come in tomorrow so you mind if I have the rest of that soup?"
"No fuckin' way. ULTRA DENIED! YOU MUST BE RAY CHARLES, CUZ YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"At the point I said ULTRA DENIED I was like moving my hand back and forth real fast at his face in a get-out-of-my-face motion. Then I dumped the rest of the old ladies soup on his shoes and did a double arm-pump in supreme victory because I'm so awesome. He was all shocked like he didn't deserve it or something. What an asshole. I can do whatever I want! Fucking bums. I hate them. If you're poor you should be like burned alive or something to make money for rich people. You know, like your skin and stuff. I then headed for the door, knocking over as many bowls of soup as I could. Outside, bums started throwing oranges or whatever at my 800 karat gold Perennial but it didn't really do anything because of their weak muscles from not eating. I guess they couldn't read my license plate that said: BUM=DUM. WHOA BEST EVER PLATE!
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Comments (16)
FIRST TO COMMENT! WOOT! I must be butter, cause I'm on a roll!
You're one insane muddafuxaz OMFG! YOU RAWXZ!! K, I'm GAY, but your not so keep on kicking ass.
soup kitchen pimpin'. ultra woot.
Bums are the bomb. I used to be best friends with one until I sold him. I think he's glue now. Bum Glue actually. That's glue made out of bums, not glue to glue your bum. yeah.
I think you mean Super FAGio 64.
way to not be enlarged... WTF????!!1!?!?1?1?1?!?!oneoneone?1?1?1one?!!?1?1!?one!?1?
"ultra denied".. Haha your site is hilarious.
Super Fagio? I don't get it - OH WAIT NOW I DO
you can all suck heather's dick....
Goddamnit you crack my shit up.
Kenny, There's no way in hell we WOULDN'T let you join The Federation!
i guess you won't like my favourite charity---Guns for the Homeless
fuck dude i hate homeless people sometimes they piss me off they'll go spend the money on crack or illicit drugs.
fuck, i do what i want.
that's right I am the guy from science and I will one day be back
I love you.
OMGI HAD TACO BELL TODAY
sweet you're like uncle benny from that episode of home improvement where he goes into a soup kitchen even though he isnt even poor and then tim sees him and asks him to join their family for thanksgiving then he finds out that hes not even poor and he gets mad and yells at him but then later on he goes outside to talk to him and hes still sitting on his front steps because he didnt have a ride home so he talks to him and then he lets him come back for thanksgiving dinner.
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