February 10, 2005
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I sure love the mall!
Went to the mall today (so call CNN for this groundbreaking news)! I don't usually go to the mall because one time my mother fell down the second story and broke her head wide-open on the Cellular One stand. The ambulance came and rushed her outside while pumping her full of medicines. I tried to go along but the jeans-wearing paramedic pushed me down as I tried to climb in the back."Get back kid, we'll take good care of your mom's carcass - I mean we'll take good care of her kid. Now get outta here before you get in trouble."
The fat ambulance driver then began to do something to my mom in an up and down motion. I couldn't tell what he was doing because the windows got all foggy and even cracked a bit from the violent motions.
Anyway, I sure love the mall! It's filled with many, many interesting people just bursting at the rafters with amazing stories! They also look different from you and me and live in the mall sometimes:
Gregory "Darkrose of Saphrax" Dennis followed me into the bathroom.Then after about ten minutes I was hella hungry like whoa, so I went into the food court. The food court smelled good and some old man offered me free samples. I first agreed, until later I found out he meant samples of his man juice. OH THE SEX JOKES ARE ENDLESS. Then I went to McDonalds. I took a picture of the guy in front of me:
This man was very interesting. He yelled at the cashier for hating blacks when he didn't get his extra-extra large vanilla milkshake. They kept yelling at eachother and everyone was leaving.
"You mother fucker give me my goddamn vanilla milkshake. Where's your manager at?"
"What seems to be the problem, sir?"
"This inept motha fucker is messin' up my order."
"Calm down sir, I'll get you that milkshake free of charge."
"Don't tell me to calm down, I'll calm down when this mother fucker is fired!"
"Sir, you're scaring the customers away. Please calm down."
"Shut the fuck up and get my milkshake, honkey!"
"Ouch! Stop throwing watermelon and food stamps at my face!"The fat black guy then walks away yelling rap lyrics as loud as he can while throwing welfare checks in the air. Luckily, some speedy Asian men jump up like ninjas and catch them. They land and add them together with their calculators. All the while, some Jewish guy with a big roll of one dollar bills was there in the food court throwing a Bar Mitzvah. The Yiddish music was so loud it hurt my ears. I took cover underneath a tent some Indians built in the food court. The Indians were dancing around like idiots and making it rain inside. Little kids who I've seen on those Christian Children's Fund commercials and who were begging for food jumped up and down in the occasion and drank the water that accumulated in the trash cans.
True story to the 100%.
Comments (33)
1st to comment! SWEET!
Oh. I hated it.
niiice..
You're lucky there are minorities. Without them, the mall would consist only of a Hungates and AbercrEagleHolliBuckleNavy store. Pretty boring if you ask me.
Once again, a great read my man.
Holy crap. That totally reminds me of the story where my friend got fired from McDonald's.
She was working at McDonald's one day, when this black guy comes up to her and throws a hamburger in her face (which was made just the way he asked her to), and calls her a dumb cracker. She, in turn, calls him a stupid nigger, making him very upset. He flails his arms around in the air yelling, "Your people have been oppressing my people for the past 362 years!" So she just looks at him and says, "Oh, so I guess your people were the Jews, because mine were the Nazis" (which is true, because there were several Nazis on her father's side of the family). She heiled him and goosed stepped out of McDonald's.
cliff burton did a fucking awesome bass solo you fag
basssolos.com
Dude my site is for entertainment for anyone who enjoys it. Lol. Your site seems more of an information.
oh i believe you to the 100%
those crazy malls...
i'll hella crack your head on a cellular one stand. like whoa.
I hate it when people throw their food stamps. There has to be a better way.
who's cliff burton? and why in the hell are bassists doin solos? BWA!
I see you in the computer box too o_o''
That story's so true, it's false.
You can take your comment and shove it up your cyber ass, BITCH!
does the blonde hot topic-ite's shirt say "i'm so goth my wrists slit themselves"?
the black man has a gold toof. holy crap is that a chicken leg I see flying at the old ladies head?
You bettah run! The hounds is a-commin'! The hounds is a-commin'!
Stop telling me what to fucking do, you stupid bitch. Who the hell said I was trying to be funny?
It's no joke, you fucking fairy. As for your "jokes", Bob Sagget is funnier than you, you stupid whore.
I'm glad you're willing to submit, like the bitch you are. On your knees yet? Now suck my Potter cock.
entertaining story. I hate the mall. I'd rather lower my nuts in a blender than hang out in the mall.
lol dude i dont kno where i found your site....but you have a wild imagination...and i really digg those pics..and your stories are crazy lol....thier pritty fun to read..
I think ur a lieng sack of shit...k thx
I'd so date your grandpa. He's got a hot ride.
you drive around looking for me. you love me.
Since you have your license. Totally.
Oh, the racism seems endless...I love it.
why do you got to steal my food stamp shit you sandy nigger...gah i just shat between your mattresses.
Sounds like you have more fun at the mall than I do! lol Happy Valentines Day!
oh wow, thats so nice, thanks.
THROAT SLICE.
:)
Indians smell.
you're one hell of an artist, Kenny Rules.
GET BACK ONLINE!!!
update nigga
YES!
Comments are closed.