May 9, 2006

  • Everything I do is on Purpose

    I never make mistakes. If it looks like an accident it's because I wanted it to look that way. I think before I do everything which, in turn, makes me mistake free. If I slip on the ground it's because I wanted to test the velocity in which my body would fly through the air. All on purpose. If I spill something it's because I wanted to conduct an experiment on liquids hitting different surfaces. Purposefully doing these things (on purpose). If I run into a wall and bump my head - it's on purpose. Everything I do has a reason behind it and the reason is that I want to do things on purpose. If that didn't make any sense then I have confused you on purpose.

    Just the other day I ran over an old lady on purpose. She was blocking the roadway and was probably stealing some orange cones (because all old people steal). I had to stop her! A cop pulled me over minutes later and I resisted arrest on purpose. I went to jail and was slammed in a cell with a big dude named Sanchez. I shit my pants as soon as I saw him. I shit them on purpose so he would avoid me. Not because he threatened to blow my ass out while I was sleeping. Everything I do is on purpose, remember?

    In my free time I like to quote different movies and authors. It makes me feel smart. "I'm in a quoting mood" I'll say as I quote myself saying my own quote using quotation marks. This "quoting" time lasts from several minutes to several hours depending on which book or movie I pull quotes from. I'm too lazy to think up or build my own sentences so I'll just use someone else's. It's like the fast food of the English language. I like to quote obscure authors so nobody could possibly know if I actually made up the quote or note. Sometimes I'll quote whilst furrowing my brow. I like to furrow my brow a lot. It makes me look like I'm thinking. Or shitting. Either way I look totally awesome while doing it. Sometimes I furrow my brow so hard that I shit myself. Save for the arid smell of human feces floating in the air, it's a win-win situation. With my pants shitted and brow thoroughly furrowed, my popularity levels up +6,000 and flies right THROUGH THE ROOF.

    - Awful Xanga of the Week

    Miyavi_LoonyLG (thanks AndrewGurn) - Ugly and incomprehensible. Yay!! I am SOOO Morman! *man gets his nuts shot off for real*

    i m a mormon and its really ace being one wow soo not what i expected wow we actually can dance which is ace though we arent allowed to see R rated movies ... i will have to get used to it although i dont see R rated movies that much ... the passion of christ ... i cant see that ... well the thing is that i cant drink caffeene i m still getting usdd to that one but i can have chocolate ...and well they keep stressing i must marry in the church... well i wouldnt mind to get married in utah...oh what a beautiful thing would it be to have not only a companion for this life time but for all eternity ....

    This person is a popular fixture on my Internet forums. For more information, click here. Or not. Either way I still get to see your boobs later.

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