April 25, 2006

• Short Stories

  I was making some deviled eggs over Easter. I ran out of paprika so I just used red glitter. The room was dark so it looked the same. It's really all just crap if you think about it. Everyone was pissed because glitter was in their teeth. I told them all to leave my property for being such whiney assholes.

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  I was sitting my basement crying and playing with my anime figurines. I was slamming them into each other so hard that I grew a boner. I eventually settled on lubing up the figurines and humping them with much vigor and velocity. I cried some more but these tears were ones of passionate joy. I passed out on the stairs leading up to the real world.

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  Some people say I'm boring. When I'm at a restaurant, I only order water. Not cold water. Hot water. A nice, refreshing mug of hot water on a summers day is the only thing that keeps me from killing myself. I can't go one day without my daily five glasses of hot water. My friend suggested I add a tea bag or sugar. He's not a very good friend. He even interrupted me while I was trying to watch the Colin Quinn "Best of Joe Blow" special. I couldn't take anymore of his malarkey so I immediately defriended him and moved him to the bottom row of my Top Eight on Myspace.

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  Brett was anxious. After recently typing a sweet ass "your mom" joke in large, capital letters in a chat room, he furrowed his brow in anticipation of a response. Minutes later, the response came flickering upon his computer screen in giant capital letters. The response said "shutup faggot".

  Brett chuckled at this knowing all too well he had sealed victory over his unruly opponents in the chat room. Satisfied with what he has accomplished, Brett sets his collar to "Abercrombie" and gratifies himself all over his cell-phone stand application.

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  - Awful Xanga of the Week

  Redthrax (thanks me) - Wanna have sex with your mom? This guy does. This one is kind of boring actually. Only one post. I might as well post the whole thing just in case it's erased:

  Sweet, Xanga is a cool thing. well i guess i'll tell some little true porn stories, if you dont mind. to start off i'll tell you that i live alone with my mom, dad past away when i was 7. my mom is pretty attractive, i see guys looking twice when she walks by, she has dark red hair, a nice tan, slim and a little muscular( she works out regularly), long legs, Hazel Eyes, no freckles, a nice ass, not too big, but not small,and c-cup tits. I would always admire her when she couldnt see me, and since the bathroom was across the hall from her room she neva wore a towel to and fro, i would drea of her and jerk off to her. we always got along and did things together. she is tom-boyish and would play vid-games with me, watch cool movies, all that. i admit that i fell in love with my mom, Autumn,ut it wasnt wrong to me, i didnt care.

  will post more if enough people leave comments.

  You heard him folks. Post more comments and he'll write more. Luckily that's not true for me.

  • 12:21 AM
  • 30 Comments