October 14, 2005
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I went to the local Turkey Hill Minute Market today to purchase some of their famous Iced Tea. All of a sudden a Mexican individual comes up and tries to start a feud over a simple misunderstanding! I say, my good man! What a larf! This is the 1800's!
"Eh mayne! You checkin' out my woman?"
"Why yes, yes I was."
"You'd better watch it holmes. I catch you lookin' at her again and you can kiss your ass goodbye."
"Not only was I looking at her but last night I brought her flowers while you were away and even used her face as a toilet."
"AWW YOU WANT TO DIE ESSE?! IS THAT IT?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE AS YOUR FINAL WISH?! TO DIE NEXT TO THIS MAGAZINE RACK IN A POOL OF YOUR OWN BLOOD?!!
"C'mon Rico! Dis fat pig ain't tellin' the truth!"
"Yeah Rico. Who you gonna believe, me or her?"
"Don't be playin' mind games with me robe a tu novio! I KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD YOUR GRANDMOTHER WILL WEEP IN PAIN!"
"Whoa, I can also speak Spanish. Check it out: Tener los cojones morados!"
"Let's get out of here Rico. Dis guy smells like Tacos. Take a shower you little bitch."
"Oh yeah? Well, it's glandular! AND I LIKE CHEESE! WHY ARE YOU WALKING AWAY FROM ME? I HAVE LOTS OF IMPORTANT STUFF TO SAY! Hey cashier, did you know that the lifespan of a tastebud is only ten days? I mean, you literally have tons of dead tastebuds in your mouth all the time! Isn't that great?"The cashier then kicked me out for being a "public disturbance". What-EVER! More like he's a PUBIC DISTURBANCE!!! GET IT?!! LIKE CRABS OR OILY DISCHARGE!!! HI-O!!! I'll be here all night folks.
- Awful Xanga of the Week
John_Q_Normal (thanks TheXangaTeam) - This is like the douchiest douche that ever douched. What a douche.
Hey kids, it still works.
Comments (64)
aww.. i love you too!!
and your vocabulary.... woah... sets me on fire!
Yeah, I know.
Dammit! Nice HTML, sirrah.
I appreciate your testimony to my douchiness. I make the ladies smell like flowers, eh?
More e-props for the clever code that fooled me as I stumbled onto your site.
Mmmmm, tacos.
Oh xxreaderxx, you're such a card!
More like your MOM'S a douche!
OMEGABURN!
OH! DAMN! Your link was INCORRECT!
OWNED!
Check it again Kemosabe!
You're just mad, 'cause I'm prettier than you.
By the way, your opinion really matters to me.
Pwned!
I dig your xanga, mayne.
Fuck you, you piece of shit.. what are you mad bc no one will acknowledge you.. you are a fucking low life mother fucker who deserves to rot in hell... do you really think anyone gives a fuck about what you think.. no bc we really dont... we post what the fuck we want.. and we really dont give a fuck what you choose to write or post about.. Give the fuck up already.. We are the ones who choose to put that site up.. its for us.. no one else US.. get the fuck over it.. keep to yourself you stupid son of a bitch.. We dont give a fuck what you think.. give it up already later
Yeah, I'm pretty fucking douchey some days.
hm.. your link doesnt work.
but hey now everyone has it!
yay!
I was expecting that to be real though I noticed it was an old fashioned trick and I was disapointed. Fooled me and definantly D_E_A_D2003. I wonder who's next...
By the way -- I know the easy way to find the worst of the worst. This blogring.
LoL Being a douche is fun. Me and you should start the Douche Fanclub.
must be fun watching people make idiots out of themselves.
Nigga if I was you, I'd run my mouf off to my face, cuz nigga, otherwise, you is finna get "touched". dis XB's shit aint a game you bitch.
:) yes, i am
for a second i was about to be offended, then i realized i wasnt the only one. you almost got me, close but no cigar. and make some new comics damn you, i havent read your shit in a long time.
Wait what?
sweet, im aweful.
wow i fell for that haha.
Damn, I feel sort of dumb now.
Whoa, cool!!!
I better put something good up...
*cool!!!1
Hey, NICE LINK JACKASS!!!!
No seriously, I mean that, it is a very lovely link. No really! What??
Ha ha!! Oh shit nigga, I know you ain't tyring to talk shit. YOU?? Is it cuz I fuck so many white ho's or cuz I'm an original member of Da World Famous Xangsta Clan, makin da dopest gangsta rap music of all time??
I gotta make dis real quick, cuz one of my favorite white bitches, Cindy Bronam, be on she way over to visit wif my thugged out ballz for a hot minute...
Dis nigga here favorite chips and dip combo be he own creation, consisting of BBQ pringles dipped in a salsa cup full of he own baby goo. Jizz, or whatever you whiteboys be callin your skeet these days.
Dis nigga be using prescription deodorant.
Nigga prolly say he finna wait til marriage to fuck to make heself feel better about not being able to pulll any bitches who will look past he "flaws", naw'm sayin?
Nigga be fuckin up real simple shit (making a link) then trying to clown on Xangonia's truest and cleanestO.G. pimp.
Niggaz be complaining too he moms dat she Kool-Aid too sweet.
Nigga smoke some crack and drink a warm pepsi.
HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh shit, Cocked, you did not just say dat shit!
Da fuck outta here. Holla at me when you actually get some comments, you ain't on my level.
COCKEDANDREADY
CEO Xangsta Records Inc.
"Deez niggaz be makin homicide in raps fun again, they straight set to blow!" -TV Guide
"John Q Normal of internet based blog site Xanga just got laid." -Weekly World News
"XANGSTAZ "Hord to Def" LP is a five mic instant rap classic! Peep it!" -Da Source
PEEP DA NEW TRACK http://WWW.PUREVOLUME.COM/XANGSTAZ
"BUT I'M FINNA: DA MASTERPIECE" Feat. BOWL-E BIRD OF DA BIRDBATH CRACKAZ
X A N G S T A Z
SCORE!
OH MY GOD HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!
THAT IS TOO COOL!
IT'S LIKE %N, EXCEPT FOR XANGA!
HOW GODDAMN AWESOME IS THAT?
What the fuck? What did I do to you? Come on, paranoidwriter already milked the NWP parody lake dry. And what did the Xanga Team have to do with this?
Nevermind, it's just something that fills in the blank.
Anyway, it looks like that retard cockedandready visited you. He's such a douchebag. He needs to go to kindergarten and learn how to spell.
God, Cockedandready's comment hurt my brain.
fuck yes. fame at last.
OMG, how ironic! I came snooping over here via JennyG and saw my nomination for the awful Xanga of the week! I love the fact that you call me a douche....without fail, that word makes me laugh, even if it's meant as an insult.
And second of all, I agree. My public site does suck. Most of what I write, you can't see, unless you decide you're really bored and disillusioned and want to gank my protected stuff. Personally, I'm a bit too engaged in my life off the computer to worry about it. And here I thought I was sliding under the radar. Who'd have thunkit.
On behalf of myself and JennyG...you're funny! Have a nice day!
LMAO. Well said.
Dude. I don't know if it was me you were nominating for awful xanga of the week, but if it was, do you think you could use your brains and link to the right site? thanks.
right..about that. no
Ah well. Never mind, I figured you out. Props props.
Haha, insult me, yet don't tell me why I'm a douche.
What a genius you are, can't even work the links.
I love how no one has actually been to my site :laughs:
Morons.
What's this joke you be playin on these here people? I'm lost now.
Oh well, SLING ON SPIDERBOY!
Aha! I see.
wtf did the xanga team have to do with shit. I is confused.
Thanks for the rip, ol' internet buddy I don't really know! You, on the other hand, are an absolutely delightful read, that's why I still subscribe to you. You are the atom bomb. Har, I feed on the attention.
Oh crap, I fell for that. Damn you, xxreaderxx.
IT WASN'T ME
why am i being damned? not that i don't enjoy it...
haha wow you people must be very unintelligent if you were oblivious as to what is going on with this worst xanga of the week....isn't it obvious? don't worry, i won't spill your secret mr. John Q Normal
i thought i blocked you
Actually, yes, I see now...
Very crafty indeed.
You bitch.
YOU NO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY SITE TAKE IT UP WITH ME. AND IF ANYONES SITE IS THE AWFUL XANGA OF THE WEEK YOURS WOULD BE OF FOREVER. YOUR SUCHA DAMN ASS WHO THE HELL DID YOU GET MY SITE ANYWAY? B/C I NO THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL ANYONE I NO GAVE IT TO YOU
Man, I was about to come back to Xanga just to kick your ass... you fooled me.
MAF
=3 OMGLOL
What a bunch of douches everyone that sees it falls for it. =D
I almost did, except for that I'm not a douche. I'm a princess who smells like roses.
And you took a shit in my garden, fuck you! D=
Next time some Mexicans harass you, be all like, 'porra tu madre, pendejo!' and then take 'em out ninja style.
It works for me every time. <3
u no what FUCK YOU and add kimmel18 to the list next week!!
Oh crap, I fell for that. Damn you, Schristian.
Posted 10/19/2005 at 6:49 AM by Dahknes
WTF did I do?!
I wanna rape Mitch now.
:laughs: You even fooled me. I was gonna mention it last night but I got lazy and decided that sleeping was more fun.
Brilliant Kenny. Simply brilliant. Now get those sexy photos of me up as soon as possible. Everyone is "dying" to see them.
HA!
you had me for a second. update.
How do I do that shit with the changing names for everybody who comes onto my site as the worst Xanger? I wanna do that.
O.O woooo! I'm the worst xanga ever ^^
hahahaha i fell for that baddly! I been owned by you! hahaha
Comments are closed.