January 10, 2006

  • Today I will go to the United States of America's key government buildings and blow them up with Semtex. Then I'll whale as many women and children in the face as possible with the butt of my sniper rifle (which will be used later to assassinate the President George W. Bush II: Revenge of Bush). Then I will get in my blue ass piece of shit 1993 Pontiac Grand AM SE with three blue hubcaps and swerve around into as many crippled assholes as possible. After crashing my car into a pack of little kids on a field trip, I will take out my Winchester Model 1887/Model 1901 Shotgun and start blasting my way through the White House. That's after I release the most toxic chemicals known to man in the waterways and leak poisonous gas from my ass so deadly that the entire city turns brown and dies like five times in a row. Once the President George W. Bush II: Revenge is dead and his head looks like a pile of hamburger I'll disembowel his children and spread their parts across Pennsylvania avenue in honor of my fellow Pennsylvanians. After being arrested and taken to court I'll just plead insanity! It was just some cRaZy voices in my head all along by golly gee whiz! I'll then go home and like watch UFC or something. That's awesome.

    HEY FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION I HOPE YOU ARE READING THIS COME BY MY HOUSE TODAY I WILL BE WAITING HERE IS MY PHONE NUMBER LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE IF YOU WANT FOR REAL MAN DUDE BRO DUDE MAN BRO DAWG MAN ALSO UNDERNEATH THE NUMBER (WHICH IS MINE) I HAVE DRAWN A DIAGRAM OF WHAT I WILL DO SO YOU KNOW WHERE I AM

    717-361-8677

    RING RING.

    - Awful Xanga of the Week

    Miss_Hemme (thanks Schristian) - The only thing more pathetic than roleplaying the part of a celebrity with a weblog is roleplaying the part of a celebrity who is a woman's wrestler. My top hat goes off to you, Hero of Internet!

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